The internet is the biggest argument diffusion tool there is - but make sure you're using a reliable site. Otherwise, you risk leaving conflicts unresolved and resentments simmering. Thousands of years of evolution have left us wired for conflict, much quicker to go on the defensive--or even on the attack--than look for ways to compromise and cooperate. That means the other person may be afraid about something you're not even aware of. This could be about almost anything and with almost anyone, including our most intimate partners, family members, social acquaintances or colleagues. Have you ever found yourself in the middle of heated argument with a loved one or colleague and you're not even sure how it got started? Next time you find yourself trapped in a debate about ideology or principle, ask yourself if you can find a solution tht would satisfy both parties, without either convincing the other that they're right. That's why repeating back what someone has told you (ideally in your own phrasing) is one of the best ways there is to keep a conversation from turning hostile. It is wise for both parties who enter into arguments to be able to defuse them and dissolve their anger toward each other in a relatively efficient and respectful manner. People often get locked into conflict when each tries to convince the other that his or her viewpoint is the correct one. Diffuse works as both a verb and an adjective. Defuse definition is - to remove the fuse from (a mine, a bomb. Check your body language and if you've drifted into an aggressive posture or stance, change your position to something more neutral or friendly. Sometimes all you need to avoid an argument is a little time apart to get over feeling angry and get a fresh perspective. You're also inviting him or her to check in and see if an emotional upset or physical discomfort is affecting your interaction. If possible and only if you know the person well, try to inject a little humor into the dialogue. You've just made it clear that you care about the other person's viewpoint and want to you understand it. For almost every situation there's a potential out-of-the-box solution. And once you've spoken them out loud you may learn that those fears are unfounded. www.drdemartini.com. But make sure to specify a time when you would like to resume the conversation. Psych Central does not provide medical or psychological It is wise to cool down and become calmer so you can return to interacting civilly with the people you previously argued with. What specifically are they doing, not doing, saying, or not saying that is initiating your emotional anger response and your desire to remain in an argument with them and be right? So if you feel like you're heading for an argument, or you find yourself getting angry, stop for a moment and ask yourself if you're reacting to a feeling of loss instead. As human's we're hard-wired to fight. Asking them to tell you what worries them the most means you may be able to alleviate those fears. 5 of 15 Taking a break until later that day, or the following morning, can be a great way to accomplish this. Telling someone else what you're sad about--like saying what you're afraid of--means that you're willing to let down your defenses and be honest. And, once again, it tells them you care about what they care about. But be careful. Looking at your own role is more fruitful and can add meaning and flexibility. Before letting your arguments get out of hand, understand the balancing act of human nature. Other people's opinions on forums will just be adding more people to the argument.